By Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again,long before you are dying.
最近有一篇文章在 Facebook, twitter上频频被转，Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed，它的原文是一名叫Bronnie Ware的护士写的。Bronnie Ware专门照顾那些临终病人，所以有机会听到很多人临终前说出他们一生里最后悔的事。她作了一个概括，有5件事是大多数人最后悔的。
很好奇为什么这么多人转载它，也许，因为这是一种你永远无法提前经历的事吧。你不会时常面对别人的死亡，你更不怎么时常有机会听到一个临终前的人告诉你他最 后悔的事是什么。而即便你听到，你又会觉得自己来日方长。我们似乎永远无法感同身受；也许，只有我们自己的生命到了尽头时，我们才会意识到自己究竟错过了什么，最后悔什么。
1. 我希望当初我有勇气过自己真正想要的生活，而不是别人希望我过的生活。
这是所有后悔的事中最常听到的。
当你疾病缠身时，才发现其实自己应该而且可以放下很多顾虑追求你要的生活，似乎已经晚了一点。
2. 我希望当初我没有花这么多精力在工作上。
Ware说这是她照顾过的每一个男病人会说的话。因为工作，他们错过了关注孩子成长的乐趣，错过了爱人温暖的陪伴，这是他们最深的后悔与愧疚。其实对于现在的职业女性来说，这也将成为一个问题。
如果把你的生活变简单些，你也许会发现自己在做很多你以为你需要做其实不需要你做的事。腾出那些事占的空间，可能你会过得开心一点。
3. 我希望当初我能有勇气表达我的感受。
太多的人压抑自己的感受与想法，只是为了“天下太平”，不与别人产生矛盾。渐渐他们就成了中庸之辈，无法成为他们可以成为的自己。其实，有很多疾病与长期压抑愤怒与消极情绪有关。
也许当你直言不讳，你会得罪某些人。但可能从此以后因为你的中肯，你们不打不相识；又或者翻脸，正好让你摆脱这种需要你压抑自己感受才能维持的累人关系。不管哪一种结果，你都是赢家，不是吗？——不过当然，直言不讳还是有底线的。
4. 我希望当初我能和朋友保持联系。
老朋友的好，我们总要到自己有事了的时候才会想到。
多少人因为自己忙碌的生活忽略了朋友忽略了曾经闪亮的友情。很多人临终前终于放下钱、放下权，却放不下心中的情感与牵挂。朋友也好，爱人也罢，其实生命最后的日子里，他们才是我们最深的惦念。
5. 我希望当初我能让自己活过开心点。
也许有点出乎意料，但这一条也在前5之中。很多人直到生命的最后才发现，“快乐是选择”。
他们在自己既定习惯和生活方式中太久了，习惯了掩饰，习惯了伪装，习惯了在人前堆起笑脸。就像五月天的那首歌，“你不是真正的快乐，你的笑只是你给的保护色”。他们以为是生活让他们不快乐，其实是他们自己让自己不快乐了。
是只有临终的时候才会发现，别人怎么看你又有什么关系呢，傻也好，怪也罢，能有真心的笑，比什么都值得。
——————————————————————————————————————————
这是在网上看见朋友share的其中一篇文章，看了以后，心中很有感触。。。
如果你愿意花些时间真的静下心来，静静的消化这篇文章，其实真的会足以让你重新思考在自己生命中究竟要的是什么。
别人用自己的生命体验来告诉我们什么才是生命中真正重要的，难道我们还要等到和他们一样真的要在自己生命快结束时才突然醒觉到什么才是生命中真正重要的然后才来感觉遗憾吗？
现在别人用了他们自己生命的真实体验告诉了我们关于生命，是不是该停下脚步，看看自己的生命与自己的心？？？
这半年来一直在忙，忙到我的心有时是盲的。。。身心被我累坏了。。。
我身体现在很虚了。。。一直忙于完成外界的要求，我不是我自己。我厌倦了这样的生活，所以想重新调整自己的生活方式。。。还在摸索怎样才是健康的生活方式，怎样的生活方式又适合自己以及可以怎样实践，只希望新的生活是我想要的，也是健康的。
实在是太累了，所以想停下脚步来，听听身体一直都在发给我的警告信息，以及听听自己的心。
No comments:
Post a Comment